Inner Turmoil
by Lyn1410G
Summary: “Target acquired. I say again, target is acquired.” Tony is forced to make a life or death decision. Should he save Gibbs or the boy? Will he allow emotion and the past to influence his choice or will he follow S.O.P? Spoilers for S3. Bait. Angst/Family


**Inner Turmoil**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the NCIS characters mentioned herein.

**Spoilers**: Season 3: Bait.

**A/N: **The dialogue in **_bold italics _**at the beginning and end of this one-shot is taken directly from the season 3 episode Bait where a young boy with a bomb strapped to his chest, takes a classroom hostage. All of the rest is what happens when I have too much time on my hands.

* * *

"_**Target acquired. I say again, target is acquired." **_

The strange, disembodied voice crackled slightly through the earpiece and his heart gave an almighty lurch before increasing its rhythm.

He hesitated.

He knew what they were thinking, what they expected him to do. _Just say the word Tony and 'bang' just like that, no more threat. What are you waiting for anyway? _

_Gibbs is in there remember? Not to mention a group of terrified kids._

"_**We may not get another chance, sir," **_the lead SRT officer urged him to act.

Tony could feel the man's eyes boring a hole in the back of his neck. Could hear the question in his voice as he wondered why the hell the NCIS agent hadn't given the order.

"_**Do I have a go, over?"**_

Again the sniper, laying face down on the nearby rooftop, requested the order to fire. _What was taking so long?_

"_**Tony."**_

He heard the doubt in her voice and it sliced through him like a knife. She didn't think he could do it either. What was it she'd said? Did he have the 'cojones' to give the order?

Well maybe if he was some cold, emotionless assassin he could just give the order to shoot and kill a fifteen year old kid, he thought resentfully. She wouldn't have hesitated.

Hell, given half the chance, she'd probably have climbed up on the roof herself and taken the head shot!

"_**The shot is still good, sir, over." **_The sniper's voice was calm but persistent through the earpiece.

Tony stared at the monitor in front of him as though it held all the answers, hidden somewhere on the screen. Kody Meyers had tugged apart the blinds as he peered through the window and out into the schoolyard.

Behind him and a little to the left, Gibbs stood watching. He knew the drill. He knew that the SRT would have the boy in their sights and so he avoided being directly behind Kody in case a shot was fired.

"_**Sir, we're gunna lose the target," **_the lead SRT officer's voice was becoming impatient.

* * *

**Flashback...********Flashback**

_Bending down, Tony used his bare hands to brush the dirt and dried leaves off the grave and lifting the empty chipped vase, turned it slowly in his hands._

_Despite the warmth of the day, the temperature had dropped significantly once the sun had set and an involuntary shiver made him regret storming out of the house without his coat. The night was dark, the moon's glow weak as it peeped out from behind dark clouds slipping silently across the blackened sky. The sweet scent of lilies from a nearby grave floated in the cool air, he closed his eyes briefly and breathed the perfume deeply into his lungs._

_She had always loved lilies._

_Lost in thought, he traced a long finger along a crack in the glazing, angry at himself for forgetting to bring the flowers. It was, after all, the only birthday gift he could give to her now._

_He'd had them ready to bring until..._

_Placing the empty vase back onto the grave, he sat down gingerly on the marble edge, rubbing his hands on his trouser legs to remove the dirt and stared solemnly at the lettering on the headstone._

_Gabriella DiNozzo._

_d. 1982 aged 34 years_

_Beloved wife and mother_

_Sadly missed._

_R.I.P_

_'Beloved wife?' he thought cynically. Anyone who had known his parents would know that for a lie. If she had been so beloved why had his father spent so much time with other women? Just like tonight, his 'work' had always come first. So much for his promises, as usual they meant nothing. Tomorrow, Tony would be heading back to school and this would be his only chance for some time to visit his mother's grave._

_Closing his eyes he reached back into his mind, into that secret place where he hid those shadowy memories of Gabriella DiNozzo. He saw the laughter sparkling in her bright green eyes as she listened to one of his crazy stories. He heard the sweet tones of her voice as she sat by that old four-poster bed reading quietly to him or humming along softly as he practiced laboriously at the piano. He saw again his mother dancing gaily around the living room, both his small hands in hers, as she whirled him around and around the room._

_That was his Mamma. The mother he remembered her once to be, before she had started on her downward spiral._

_Before she had begun to spend long hours in her room._

_Before she was "too tired to play today Anthony."_

_Before she would fly into a rage at the slightest provocation._

_Before the pain of her husband's infidelity, drove her to seek solace in a bottle._

_Back when she loved him._

_He reached out a hand and ran it along the smooth cold stone that covered the mortal remains of Gabriella DiNozzo._

_He had started to miss his Mamma long before her death._

******End Flashback...********End ****Flashback**

* * *

"_**Sir, we're gunna lose the target."**_

The SRT officer's voice penetrated the fog of his mind and his silence stretched excruciatingly as determinedly, he dragged his thoughts back from the past and forced them to focus on the boy in the classroom. As he stood there, staring unseeingly, something warm unfurled in his stomach and spread quickly through his insides and a familiar gruff voice began to sound over and over like a mantra in his head, refusing to be quiet.

_Trust your gut, Tony, trust your gut._

He swallowed once and lifted his chin just a fraction.

_Oh God, he hoped he was right!_

"_**It's not a target. It's a 15 year old boy who misses him mom. All sniper units stand down! Do not take the shot!"**_


End file.
